Getting back up again

Originally posted on January 21, 2016 on my Instagram account:

My day started out taking a classic Lizzie tumble down these lovely stairs. In the instant moment of pain I wanted to cry and quit and climb back up the stairs to get back in bed. But something inside of me whispered "Take a deep breath. Assess the damage. Care for the wounds properly, and keep walking out that door!" Thank the Lord- nothing broken or sprained, just bruised up pretty badly and starting to feel that second-day "Ouch! I fell on THAT too?!"

But here are some reflections from my day today:

1) This "event" that caused me so much pain turned into such a sweet blessing as I went to my doctor's place and she shared her personal testimony with me and we reminisced on how much the Lord has worked in and through my life from when I first got here to Mexico almost 3 years ago! It was such a beautiful reminder of all the unexpected blessings we will encounter if we let the Lord work through us and in our hearts even through the greatest pains!

2) Today was a good reflection of how I feel at times lately. Some days are much harder than others in the sense that I don't want to go and "confront" my pain and I would of course love to stay in my "comfort place." But the Lord has implanted a strength in me these past few weeks that truly comes only from Him. He has lifted me up and pushed me on even in those moments of wanting to turn around and not "have to deal" with things. Yet I am so thankful the Lord continues to push me and hold me up and say "Keep moving forward!"

3) I most likely fell this morning because I was in a hurry and carrying too many things. These "injuries" will definitely slow me down these next few days, but I am humbly realizing this is something I have needed deeply since being back. To slow down, rest, and "let myself heal". It's so easy as a missionary to give all of your time and emotions to the ministries in which your serving. But there is a certain point where you have to slow down and take care of yourself first if you truly want to be effective and fruitful in ministry, working more out of the Lord rather than your own strength. So humbly I am submitting myself to this rest this weekend, expectantly waiting on my Jehovah-Rapha. 

Joy in the Sorrow

Originally posted on January 19, 2016 on my Instagram account:

"Therefore, what you actually have is that the joy of the Lord happens inside the sorrow. It doesn't come after the sorrow. It doesn't come after the uncontrollable weeping. The weeping drives you into the joy, it enhances the joy, and then the joy enables you to actually feel your grief without its sinking you. In other words, you are finally emotionally healthy."

-Timothy Keller

Friday we took some time to meditate and ask the Lord to give us each a word to define 2016 for us. The past few months, the Lord has been revealing to me how ugly of a heart attitude I've had in complaining and self-centeredness in my words and attitudes. So for a long while, the Holy Spirit has been softening my heart and creating a deep longing inside of me to change my attitude and practice the spiritual discipline of thanksgiving. A few months ago I never could have imagined just how important this heart change would be, but today I see even more how God goes before us preparing the way when it is so unseen.

The word the Lord confirmed to me Friday was "Joy", and almost every day now I often find myself repeating "The joy of the Lord is my strength."

Exactly one month ago today my longtime boyfriend suddenly broke up with me, and it has been a whirlwind of emotions and challenges ever since that I never could have imagined having to face. But at the same time, in the moments of deep pain and hard grief, I have experienced Joy and Hope and Grace like never before in my life. It may seem absurd that "Joy" would be the word that rings loud in my heart right now. But that is just how the Lord works: in the absurdity, in ways we can't imagine or even begin to understand. This Joy that I have found truly comes from the Lord. In thanksgiving, praise, and blind trust. My strength these days only comes from my joy in the Lord. And my joy grows deeper in the midst of grief and sorrow. And This. This is the abundant life. In joy, faith, trust, grief, sorrow, thanksgiving, and forgiveness. Tonight I choose to not let the pain and anger and sadness win, but to grab hold of that "abundant life" and rest peacefully in the freedom of "forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

You will pass THROUGH - Isaiah 43

Originally posted on January 9th, 2016 on my Instagram:

"When you pass through the waters" 

Deep the waves may be and cold,

But Jehovah is our refuge,

And His promise is our hold;

For the Lord Himself has said it,

He, the faithful God and true:

"When you come to the waters

You will not go down, BUT THROUGH."

Seas of sorrow, seas of trial,

Bitter anguish, fiercest pain,

Rolling surges of temptation

Sweeping over heart and brain-

They will never overflow us

For we know His word is true; 

All His waves and all His hollows

He will lead us safely THROUGH.

Threatening breakers of destruction,

Doubt's insidious undertow,

Will not sink us, will not drag us

Out to ocean depths of woe;

For His promise will sustain us, 

Praise the Lord, whose Word is true! 

We will not go down, or under,

For He says, "You will pass THROUGH."

-Annie Johnson Flint