Lessons learned in falling down

      Today I said something to my little sister, Renata, while we were ice-skating and it has stayed in my mind ever since I said it because I believe God is telling me this for my life right now and my experience here in Mexico. I said to her, "It isn't important if you fall down. What's important is that you get back up again after you fall." A little funny because I fell down two times this weekend in public: one time in the Metro with a ton of people around me and the other at church during worship. I was really embarrassed, but I had to get back up and continue smiling.
      I have so much in my life right now to give God thanks and continue smiling. At times, it's really difficult for me to avoid feeling proud of myself, and when I fall down my pride rises up inside of me for some moments. But I have to remember that I wasn't walking well by my own strength, that I wasn't seeing success in ministry by my own abilities, that I wasn't speaking Spanish well by my own intelligence. Only by the gracious love and power of the Holy Spirit that I have been able to experience these things. Like we sang this morning in worship, "If it wasn't for Your grace and for Your love." And those are all I need to lift myself back up and share my smile with everyone, even when I'm falling down.


       Hoy dije algo a mi hermanita, Renata, cuando estábamos patinando y ha quedado en mi mente desde lo dije porque creo que Dios me este diciéndolo para mi vida ahora y mi experiencia aquí en México. Le dije, "No importa si te caes. Lo que es importante es que te levantas después." Un poco chistoso porque me caí dos veces en publico este fin de semana: una vez en el Metro con un montón de gente alrededor de mi y la otra en la iglesia durante el culto.. Me dio mucha vergüenza, pero tuve que levantarme y seguir con una sonrisa.
       Tengo mucho en mi vida ahora para dar gracias a Dios y seguir sonriendo. A veces me cuesta mucho trabajo de evitar de sentir orgullosa de mi misma, y cuando me caigo mi orgullo se levanta dentro de mi por algunos momentos. Pero tengo que recordar que no estaba caminando bien por mi propia fuerza, que no estaba viendo el éxito en ministerio por mis propias habilidades, que no estaba hablando bien en español por mi propia inteligencia. Solo por el amor gracioso y el poder del Espíritu Santo que he podido experimentar estas cosas. Como cantamos esta mañana en el culto: <<Si no fuera por Tu gracia y por Tu amor.>> Y esos son solo que necesito para levantarme y compartir mi sonrisa con todo el mundo aun cuando me caigo.

Trusting amidst the pain

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
There is so much that I can't see right now, that I can't understand, and that hurts so deeply. According to my emotions, these certainly could not be "light and momentary troubles". Yet according to my faith, every single tear and pain in my heart is undoubtedly worth the glory it will bring my Savior in the end. He died for me, so that I might continue to die to myself. But what life there is in obedience, honor, and trust!

"Pues los sufrimientos ligeros y efímeros que ahora padecemos producen una gloria eterna que vale muchísimo más que todo sufrimiento. Así que no nos fijamos en lo visible sino en lo invisible, ya que lo que se ve es pasajero, mientras que lo que no se ve es eterno." - 2 Corintios 4:17-18
Hay tantas cosas que no puedo ver ahora, que yo no puedo entender, y que duele profundamente. Según mis emociones, estos ciertamente no pueden ser "los sufrimientos ligeros y efímeros". Sin embargo, según mi fe, toda lágrima y dolor en mi corazón es indudablemente digno de la gloria que traerá mi Salvador en el final. Él murió por mí, para que yo pudiera seguir a morir a mí mismo. Pero, que vida existe en la obediencia, el honor y la confianza!

Like a fool, yet for His glory

   I've tried to figure out a way to start this update, erasing about 5 times everything I start to type, mainly because I've been trying to figure out a way to eloquently and politely express my thoughts right now. But the truth is, I will never be able to express adequately all that I am thinking and feeling right now. My heart is so heavy, my mind is racing to think of solutions, and my soul is in anguish for what I have witnessed today.
   Today I started ministry work with a local ministry that does a wide-range of things in human trafficking prevention and rehabilitation. One part is going to the National Migration Institute here in Mexico City, which is where people are detained who have been captured trying to enter/ have entered the US illegally. The idea of this particular part of the ministry is to spend some time with the women and children detained, offering activities such as art therapy to hear more about their stories and give them a way to momentarily detach from their current situation, and if possible identify potential victims of human trafficking.
    We entered the jail, went through security, signed in at multiple places in just maybe a 50 meter walk, and suddenly as we turned the corner, dozens of women waiting in lines to use the phones were standing before me. It suddenly hit me that this was no longer just pictures of women to post on a bulletin board to tell their story, this was no longer just a number in a statistic, this was no longer a "political belief" on immigration or a prejudice carried against people trying to enter the US illegally- these were real women standing before me who I was going to have to open my mouth, offer my smile, and use my ears to try to understand their unique life story. In the next few moments my mind began reeling to comprehend that my identity was not in my nation, but in the Kingdom that I first and foremost belong to. How was I going to be able to relate or hold a conversation with these women who had just been captured and kicked out of the very country I have legal citizenship? It would be impossible for me to mask my accent, in fact I don't even know what it sounds like to be honest, but I decided that regardless of when my nationality would come up in a conversation, I had to remain bent on sharing the love of God no matter what.
    The first few conversations were rough. I butchered my way through casual conversation in Spanish (my Spanish 1 teachers would be disappointed) and even as Cindy, the 20-year-old Honduran trying to get to her family in Tennessee, drew a beautiful flower and wrote "Dios es Grande" on her paper, I surrendered to my fears of inadequacy and failed to even try to start a discussion about the love of Christ. How prideful was I to think that in the one hour of her life that I would be a part of, my own reputation mattered more than starting a simple chat on who she believed God to be in her life?
    My last conversation was one I will never forget though. I sat down at the small, metal table with a little boy and girl who were coloring. "Hi, I'm Elizabeth. What's your name?" I began. Tatiana and Damien. "Where are y'all from?" El Salvador. "Do you have any siblings?" "Yes, he's my brother," cheerfully answered little Tatiana. "Oh, that's great! So are your mom or dad here with you?" She replied, "No, my grandparents are in El Salvador. And my Mama and Papa are in the United States. We're here with my uncle." "Oh," was all I could reply. In this moment I realized that these two sweet children were abandoned in this part of the detention facility, separated from their only family, having to take care of each other at the little ages that they were in an environment that no child should be familiar with. "Well, how old are y'all?" Immediately Tatiana exclaimed, "I'm 7. I just turned 7 the day before yesterday." My heart was undone. I wanted to cry right then and there, thinking about having my 7-year-old birthday spent in a prison with only my 9-year-old brother by my side and surrounded by 60 women who were complete strangers to me. I still can't understand this world we live in, in which something like this could happen to a child. My soul longs for justice and righteousness, yet I am overwhelmed in this peace that passes my mental understanding from this hope I have that rests in the most just and righteous of all men, Jesus.
    "Dios te amo" (God I love you) she wrote out inside a heart with wings she had drawn. "What's your favorite story of the Bible?" I asked. "The stories about God," she not surprisingly responded. (Many Catholics in Latin America can only express their thoughts about God and often lack any sort of personal knowledge about the Bible in general, such as Old Testament stories or the Parables of Jesus.) So I asked, "Have you ever heard the story about Daniel and the lions?" (I had no idea why this particular story came to mind at the moment. but I just went with what was coming out of my mouth) and she shook her head no. Thus I began the story of the brave Daniel who's God had saved him from the lion's den after being captured by the king for praying to his God. "Even when Daniel was all alone and surrounded by scary lions, he still prayed to God and wasn't afraid because he knew God was with him and loved him so much." Tatiana and Damien simply paused from their coloring, looked me in the eyes, and gave me the biggest smiles I had seen on their faces since I got there.
    I went into that prison that afternoon having no idea what to expect, as time went on I grew frustrated at my selfish flesh preventing me from sharing God's love, and as I walked out of that prison two hours later I couldn't believe that God had decided to use my weak self anyways in a way that I couldn't have anticipated walking in there. As I have been reflecting on my Metro and bus rides back to my apartment, I have come to realize that as much as I long to help rescue and advocate for victims of human trafficking, it's not about the numbers and the rescuing of their physical bodies in the end- it's about the lost and broken souls that I will cross paths with along this journey. It's about advocating for Jesus Christ first and foremost, and telling about this amazing Savior at every chance I have to those who are longing to be saved. It's about offering a small ray of light, in the form of the love of God, to those that are in maybe the darkest times of their lives. It's about surrendering to God's plan for my every moment, my each and every day, and my whole entire life, and truly trusting that His heart is in my favor with each and every thing that He asks me to do.
   It's easy as a missionary to get caught up in the daily activities, in the numbers and stories to report, and in the public expectation that you are someone special. It's easy to settle with "knowing" that God has called you here for a purpose, but not fully trusting that God's heart is for you and lacking in feeling His love and presence in your daily life. I confess these are all my sins as of late, and I could easily use culture shock as a wide-range excuse that most of you would accept. But the reality is I am just as much in need of my Savior as these lost women and children that I encountered today. In the eyes of God I am no different than any other man or woman of God. And at the end of this race I am not running to set myself ahead of anyone else but running as fast as I can into the arms of my Heavenly Lover. I am stumbling like a fool over these hurdles along the way, but God's grace is being revealed through my life in a way I've never experienced before and I can only hope that one person may be touched by God's hand in their witness of my failures.
    Thank you for your prayers. I mean it when I say that I have experienced their presence and answering in my life, especially in lifting me back up after I am down and feeling beat. We are all in this race together, and I need my team supporting me even when I think I can run off ahead by myself. Nothing I am doing here in Mexico is apart from the same work that God is doing in your life wherever you are. We are all working to bring His Kingdom to this earth and He is working to make each of us more into His image each day. I praise the Lord for allowing each of you to be on my team and for Him having chosen each of us before we were even born to be on His team.
    For His glory,

Elizabeth
    

Week 1 Updates and Prayer Requests

    Well, there is so much that I would love to say right now but I only have a few minutes before I need to head to bed. The past 9 days have been incredible being back in Mexico. So much has happened from my visit with my first host family, to meeting my team and going through orientation together, to anxiously waiting for a Mexican family to confirm they would host me for this year! I have gone through so many emotions, but more importantly the Lord is drawing me so much closer to Him through these last few days.
   Some important updates: I ended orientation not knowing if I had a family that would take me in for the year. My directors are housing me for now, and as of this morning I have a confirmed family but won't be moving in until next Saturday as they need time to prepare a room for me. I also found out my ministry placement for the year: I will be working at a safe house for victims of human and sex trafficking. I am so excited to be a part of this ministry in this city and use my degree in a hands-on manner! I will also be helping out at my church in whatever capacity they need. Right now I am being trained in how to lead an inductive bible study and most likely I will use this to begin to disciple one or two young women in our youth group as well.
   Please be in prayer for all of my teammates, two of whom weren't with us this summer and are getting acclimated to the city and this new life. The above picture is my team and here are the links to their blogs if you would like to be in specific prayer for them as well: Erik Hamilton Cole, Amanda Krzywicki, and my fellow Georgia peach Robin Byington. Already we are growing together as a team and I am extremely excited to serve alongside each of these beautiful souls this year!

"Act as if you did."

    “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”  

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.  

And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  

On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” 

-Matthew 22:36-40

    Nine months ago when I first began this journey of following the Lord's calling to Mexico, one of the biggest struggles that I had was trying to understand how I could love a people who I knew very little about, and honestly had grown up having very judgmental and hateful feelings toward. I grew up in a community and school where we had quite a large population of Mexicans, and through experiences and encounters that I had with a few "bad" Mexicans, I took a very selfish and hateful stance against learning to have patience and love these people that I was surrounded by. After high school, I went on to college not really even addressing those feelings and thoughts, and I honestly allowed it to influence my studies as well when I purposefully didn't want to learn about Mexican history in my Political Science classes. My concentration was in Latin American Countries, but I did everything I could to avoid having to think about Mexico. 
    But this is just a testimony of how much the Lord loves each of his children and desires for us to reflect him in this world by growing in his likeness. The Lord was not content with allowing me to stay in my sinful state of mind, and in a very loving and intimate way he has been challenging me and molding my heart to be like his over the past 9 months. 
   Before I left for Mexico this summer, I had no idea how I could pray for these people. I still felt so distant from these people I was coming to serve and live alongside. I tried looking at pictures, reading articles, and keep up with the news, but I still couldn't stir up those feelings of sympathy and compassion in prayer. However, at the end of this summer, when I was getting off the plane in Atlanta, I experienced something that made me realize how incredibly the Lord was moving mountains in my heart. There were some Mexican elderly people getting wheelchair assistance from some American airport workers, but the workers didn't speak any Spanish and the Mexicans didn't speak any English. I could see the rudeness and just lack of compassion the workers were showing to these elderly people, and my heart was flooded with all sorts of emotions. I went over to translate and to welcome these Mexicans to America with the hopes that they wouldn't be discouraged by such a harsh first impression. Afterwards, one of the girls that was in the Summer program with me and was flying with me came off the plane, and I just looked at her and started crying. I was angry for the lack of compassion I had just witnessed, ashamed that I had once been the same way, grateful to see the smile on the elderly people's faces and to be able to use my Spanish in a selfless way, grieved as I was missing my Mexican host family and friends, and just plane out-of-place as the start of reverse culture shock was starting to settle in. Thankfully my dear friend, Amanda, is very wise and loving, and she helped encourage me to let the tears come but then to find the light and hope in this situation. And in the end of this experience, I was able to focus on and dwell on giving God the glory in physically seeing a miracle he had worked in my life, in my heart, and in my thoughts. 
    And this morning as I was reading, I came across this quote that so eloquently and beautifully explains what I experienced this summer in regards to this:

"Though natural likings should normally be encouraged, it would be quite wrong to think that the way to become charitable [loving] is to sit trying to manufacture affectionate feelings... The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you "love" your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less... [W]henever we do good to another self, just because it is a self, made (like us) by God, and desiring its own happiness as we desire ours, we shall have learned to love it a little more or, at least, to dislike it less... The worldly man treats certain people kindly because he "likes" them: The Christian, trying to treat everyone kindly, finds himself liking more and more people as he goes on- including people he could not even have imagined himself liking at the beginning."

-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Daily Prayer

    Recently I met with a mentor of mine and she encouraged me with an idea to ask of my support team and anyone reading this blog. Would you consider choosing one day of the week to commit to praying for me and this ministry? Let me know which day you choose, and I will be sure to keep you updated with specific prayer requests.
    I think this will be an incredible way for us to witness the Lord answering prayers before our eyes and across all geographical borders. And it would be a mighty encouragement for me when I am having a rough day and I can stop to remember that "so-and-so" is praying for me on that day.
    Prayerfully consider whether this is something the Lord is placing on your heart. Please email me at trustwithoutborders@gmail.com to let me know which day and I can let you know how to be specifically praying for this ministry right now. 

"The Lord is near to all who call on him,

to all who call on him in truth." 

- Psalm 145:18 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." 

- Philippians 4:6

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." 

- Colossians 4:2

"Pray without ceasing" 

- 1 Thessalonians 5:17

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

- James 5:16

Psalm 37- Delight yourself in the Lord

Reflecting on Psalm 37 tonight, which is bringing me some much needed peace. 

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
    dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

 Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him, and he will act.

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
    and your justice as the noonday.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
    fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,
    over the man who carries out evil devices!
-Psalm 37:3-7 

Confía en el Señor y haz el bien;
    establécete en la tierra y manténte fiel.

Deléitate en el Señor,
    y él te concederá los deseos de tu corazón.

Encomienda al Señor tu camino;
    confía en él, y él actuará.

Hará que tu justicia resplandezca como el alba;
    tu justa causa, como el sol de mediodía.

Guarda silencio ante el Señor,
    y espera en él con paciencia;
no te irrites ante el éxito de otros,
    de los que maquinan planes malvados.

-Salmos 37:3-7